


They Call It The Blues

by Punkgeekchic



Category: Actor RPF, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punkgeekchic/pseuds/Punkgeekchic
Summary: The reader is having a rough day, so Ben tries his hardest to cheer her up.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Reader
Kudos: 2





	They Call It The Blues

There are days where I wonder why I wake up anymore. There are days why I wonder if anyone would actually miss me if I were gone. There are days where I wish I would’ve been successful in my many many attempts as a teen to off myself.

This is one of those days.

I feel bad for Ben. He didn’t sign up for this shit when we first started dating. He shouldn’t have to put up with my depressive episodes like he does.

I was lying in bed by myself since Ben had taken Frankie for their morning jog when it hit. It’s like a switch, but I’m not the one in control of the on/off button. I didn’t move from where I was laying. I just grabbed the duvet and covered my entire body with it, my head included.

When Ben and Frankie got back from their job, I didn’t even notice. I was too lost in my head. I didn’t even feel the bed dip down next to me.

Ben said, “Y/N are you okay?”

That’s when I finally noticed they were home.

I said, “no Ben, I’m not okay. I would like you to never ask me that question again because all it does is make the situation in my head worse.”

He said, “what does that even mean?”

I uncovered my head and said, “what do you think it means Ben?”

He said, “we’re not doing this right now. I’m going to go take a shower and when I get back out here, we’re going to talk like we normally do, and you’re going to pull whatever is bringing you down out to the open, so we can address it.”

I said, “you’re not my fucking therapist.”

He said, “of course I’m not Y/N, you don’t pay me to talk to you.”

Okay, that stung a bit. I don’t know if he meant that to be funny or something, but that definitely wasn’t. I already hate myself and I know everyone around me can notice that which probably makes them want to hate me too, so that comment just cut me into even more little pieces.

I buried my head in my pillow and covered it back up with the duvet, as Ben climbed off the bed towards the shower. I just cried into the pillow because there wasn’t anything else I could really do.

It must’ve been a good 15 minutes before Ben resurfaced from his shower. He was already dressed, so he just climbed back onto the bed and pulled my unwilling body onto his lap. My head was in his lap instead of my pillow. He looked down at my red puffy eyes and the look on his face was enough to break my heart.

Ben said, “babe will you please tell me what’s wrong?”

I shook my head no.

He said, “I can’t do anything to make this better if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. You don’t have to tell me everything, just enough for me to get the gist.”

I wouldn’t talk.

He said, “I can clearly see that it’s one of these days again, but you were doing so well recently. I just want to know what happened to make that change.”

I said, “I don’t even know what causes these anymore Ben.”

He said, “well how about we go get some food into you, and see if that helps any.”

I said, “Ben you know I don’t have much for an appetite. I don’t much. I could go days without eating and feel fine. I’ve practically trained myself to not eat.”

He said, “Is this about your weight again?”

I said, “that’s usually a contender in this bottomless pit of self-hatred.”

He said, “how about this: you tell me everything you hate about yourself and I’ll tell you the reasons why I love the things you hate about yourself?”

I said, “fine if you think it’ll help.”

He said, “good, but we’re getting you out of bed first because that’s the first step to feeling better. Also, I think our little girl in the other room wants to see her mummy.”

Seeing Frankie always has a positive effect on me no matter what kind of day I’m having. Maybe Ben really does know what I need to get out of this funk.

I said, “I will move to the living room if you carry me because I can’t really feel my body. I just feel numb.”

He said, “Y/N I’d be glad to carry you like the princess I think you are.”

I put my hand in front of my face to hide the tiniest smile that was trying to break on my face.

Ben picked me up bridal style and carried me into our living room. He set me down on the sofa. Frankie came and jumped onto the sofa right next to me. She moved so that she was laying across my lap and I started to pet her. Ben came and sat next to me now that Frankie had moved so that he could.

He said, “alright baby is this better?”

I nodded my head, but I was still avoiding looking him in the eye.

He said, “now so I can hold up my end of the bargain: will you please tell me what you think is so wrong with you?”

I said, “where to start, where to start. I guess for starters since it’s already been pointed out, I don’t like my weight. I don’t think it’s very healthy and I’ve been known to be called fat by random people.”

Ben said, “okay for starters you are not fat. You are absolutely beautiful and you’re perfectly healthy. As for the people that have called you fat, if I could find them, I’d give them a stern talking too. You have this incredible body that just fits so nicely in my hands. It’s perfect for kissing, grabbing, licking, biting, and anything else you let me do to it.”

I sort of blushed, ducked my head down, and said, “okay moving on. I don’t find myself to be pretty in the slightest. I mean I hate looking in the mirror because the face that stares back at me, I just don’t like.”

Ben lifted my head up so he could clearly look at me.

He said, “you are incredibly attractive my dear. You have the dreamiest Y/E/C eyes, I can just lose myself in them. You have a cute little nose and really squishy cheeks. The freckles that are spread across your face are like constellations, which we both know how cool space and starts are so yeah. Then there are your lips. I don’t think I have to explain why I love your lips and your mouth, but I will anyway. Your lips are so kissable and they’re the perfect shape to easily mold with mine. Your hot little mouth just does things to me that is indescribable.”

I said, “okay I get it, you love my face and my body. I don’t like my height. I think I’m too damn short.”

Ben said, “your height is great. Sure you’re shorter than me, but that doesn’t take much. I love your height because we find ourselves in situations where you need me because you can’t reach something or you want to be able to see or just anything. It makes me feel worth it knowing you need me and if it’s because of your height then that’s just another blessing, not a curse.”

I couldn’t hide the smile that lit my face up this time.

Ben said, “now there’s the smile I love on my beautiful darling girl.”

I said, “I think you’ve been pretty successful at making me feel a bit better. I know I’m not completely better and that’s going to take a hell of a lot of time, but with you to help me through even the worst of my spells, I know I’ll be okay.”

He said, “I will always be here for you Y/N. I know you don’t want to feel like you’re an inconvenience to me, but I can tell you this doesn’t put me off if that makes sense. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You’re allowed to have bad days, but bad days like these need a quick turnaround, and I wouldn’t be doing my job as your boyfriend if I didn’t help you out.”

I said, “I love you, Benjamin Jones.”

He said, “and I love you Y/N Y/L/N.”

I stopped petting Frankie and moved so that I was leaning more onto Ben. He kissed the top of my head.

He said, “now that we’re looking on the up and up, should we just wait until lunch to get some food. I can order a Chinese takeaway?”

I said, “that sounds good to me. Can we just stay here, cuddle, and watch some movies all day?”

He said, “that sounds like a plan I can get behind baby.”

Ben grabbed the blanket that we have on the back of the sofa and draped it across himself, me, and even Frankie got a bit of it. I rested my head on his shoulder. He grabbed the remote and turned the telly on. Netflix was opened and he scrolled through the titles, but I got the final pick.

With Hercules playing on the tv, yes I picked Hercules because Disney always makes me feel warm and giddy since I’m still very much a child on the inside, Ben cuddling me keeping me safe and comfy, Frankie passed out on my lap, and the promise of a Chinese takeaway in a couple of hours it wasn’t hard for me to fall back asleep.

I know today started off as one of those dreaded bad days, but I should’ve known it would never last when Ben has anything to say about it. This beautiful little family I have will always be what keeps me going, and for that, you won’t get a complaint from me.


End file.
